A Sad but Gentle Reminder
Today one of the families in our mothers' group lost their youngest child. He was healthy one day, contracted a virus that attacked his heart, and passed away within just a few days. This sweet little boy was just a few months younger than Zach and so full of energy when we saw him a few months ago. My heart breaks for his sweet mother, this little guys was quite a bit younger than his older siblings and his mom's special buddy. Yesterday while we were at Costco we saw another sweet family that recently lost their mother. The dad was there with his three sons, and they appeared to be doing okay, but I'm sure they are still having a rough time and missing their mom- especially with the holidays. As I see these sweet families go through tragedy I am awed by their strength and resolve. Both families are religious, one is in our ward and one belongs to another faith, and both have expressed that their faith is what has gotten them through each day. But I am so impressed that they are able to keep going. The little boy passed away today so I would imagine that his family has many difficult days ahead, and while their loss is heartbreaking and unimaginable, it has helped remind me of a few things (in no particular order):
First, despite all the anger we see on social media, hear on the news, and is spouted by politicians there are still good people left in the world. A GoFundMe account was set up to cover funeral expenses for the sweet little boy- they raised $8500 in 4 hours. While they cannot put a monetary value on this child's life, and I am sure his parents would give anything to have him back, it is beautiful to see their community banding together to help in one of the ways that they can. They also created a meal calendar for the family, the first available sign up is January- that is how many people have rushed to the aid of this sweet family in just a few short hours. While they will need support beyond meals and funeral expenses it is wonderful to see people taking care of each other because it is the right thing to do, not because it benefits them in any way. I listened to a recent Freakanomics episode that basically talked about how we are happier, healthier, and most successful as a society when we have social capital or trust in one another, when we look out for each other's best interests, and care about those around us. Sometimes it can be hard to believe that trust and service still exist but this has been a beautiful example of people coming together- this family's neighborhood, schools, moms group, church, employers, and more have banded together to offer love and support- how wonderful to see these examples of Christ's love!
Second, I need to hug my kids more, enjoy their childhoods, and just be happy in the moment. I am a big fan of getting things accomplished and very frustrated when that doesn't happen. I am a perfectionist and I dont like sitting. I have high standards for myself and those around me, and sometimes that can lead to frustration on the part of everyone. These two families have shown me that I need to step back, breathe, and be grateful for what we do have. The mother that passed away wasn't that much older than I am, she left behind a husband, and three young kids. While we do believe they will see her again, that wont be for some time, at the moment they have memories of her. I wonder what my kids and Brian would remember about me (morbid I know), but do I want them to remember that dinner was ready at 6pm and the floor was swept, or do I want them to remember that I loved them and enjoyed being with them. I think I may need to change my focus so they understand my priorities better. This has also been a great reminder to hug my kids and appreciate my husband, because while I dont anticipate any issues, I would hate to think I didn't take the opportunity. It's been a great reminder this week in particular because Michael and Zach are out of school and it has been... rough. And while I hate hate hate the screaming, constant fighting, and never ending whining, I love them, and I would miss them terribly. So we are playing more games, sweeping less, and trying to remember to enjoy their childhoods instead of just enduring until their eighteenth birthdays- I will admit that some days are just going to be about enduring to bedtime, but maybe it can be fewer and fewer of those kind of days.
So hug your kids, help your neighbors, turn of the news (this week), listen to a christmas song, and practice a little bit of peace on earth and good will to men.
First, despite all the anger we see on social media, hear on the news, and is spouted by politicians there are still good people left in the world. A GoFundMe account was set up to cover funeral expenses for the sweet little boy- they raised $8500 in 4 hours. While they cannot put a monetary value on this child's life, and I am sure his parents would give anything to have him back, it is beautiful to see their community banding together to help in one of the ways that they can. They also created a meal calendar for the family, the first available sign up is January- that is how many people have rushed to the aid of this sweet family in just a few short hours. While they will need support beyond meals and funeral expenses it is wonderful to see people taking care of each other because it is the right thing to do, not because it benefits them in any way. I listened to a recent Freakanomics episode that basically talked about how we are happier, healthier, and most successful as a society when we have social capital or trust in one another, when we look out for each other's best interests, and care about those around us. Sometimes it can be hard to believe that trust and service still exist but this has been a beautiful example of people coming together- this family's neighborhood, schools, moms group, church, employers, and more have banded together to offer love and support- how wonderful to see these examples of Christ's love!
Second, I need to hug my kids more, enjoy their childhoods, and just be happy in the moment. I am a big fan of getting things accomplished and very frustrated when that doesn't happen. I am a perfectionist and I dont like sitting. I have high standards for myself and those around me, and sometimes that can lead to frustration on the part of everyone. These two families have shown me that I need to step back, breathe, and be grateful for what we do have. The mother that passed away wasn't that much older than I am, she left behind a husband, and three young kids. While we do believe they will see her again, that wont be for some time, at the moment they have memories of her. I wonder what my kids and Brian would remember about me (morbid I know), but do I want them to remember that dinner was ready at 6pm and the floor was swept, or do I want them to remember that I loved them and enjoyed being with them. I think I may need to change my focus so they understand my priorities better. This has also been a great reminder to hug my kids and appreciate my husband, because while I dont anticipate any issues, I would hate to think I didn't take the opportunity. It's been a great reminder this week in particular because Michael and Zach are out of school and it has been... rough. And while I hate hate hate the screaming, constant fighting, and never ending whining, I love them, and I would miss them terribly. So we are playing more games, sweeping less, and trying to remember to enjoy their childhoods instead of just enduring until their eighteenth birthdays- I will admit that some days are just going to be about enduring to bedtime, but maybe it can be fewer and fewer of those kind of days.
So hug your kids, help your neighbors, turn of the news (this week), listen to a christmas song, and practice a little bit of peace on earth and good will to men.
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