A public apology

So now that the news is out in the open I think it is time that offer a blanket public apology to pretty much everyone I come in contact with. These past few (three) months I have been a slacker, a grump, not dependable, and generally not with it. I feel so bad, pretty much everything has slid through the cracks, anything that didnt absolutely have to get done... didnt. No really, if you look around my house you can see that is true. Dinners havent gotten made, Mikey has had more sandwiches and fast food the past few months than his entire life up to that point combined. Laundry didnt get folded, church calling got neglected (so sorry!), blog was rejected, house wasnt cleaned, really the list is so long. I think my poor son suffered the most, and then Brian, but I feel so bad, I think before this i was an ok mom, I played with him, we read tons, etc, but as I have spent the past few months either lying on the bathroom floor throwing up or lying on the couch wishing the anti nausea medicine did more than just stop the vomiting (like help with the symptoms) he has gotten a less fun mom. He has watched more shows (thank goodness for netflix), had to learn to play independently, really just have less fun. We have tried to go to his activities, and we really have stepped up our reading (you know from like 10 books a day to 20), but all in all I am ready to have more energy, patience, and be to back, a little bit, to normal. I seriously do not know how the moms with 4, 5, 6, kids have the energy to have another...  I am probably just a huge wimp.

This week though... well I havent taken zofran since Wednesday (maybe thursday), whoo hoo! I am feeling less like throwing up, but have even less energy. Until a week or so ago I could make it to 9pm but now... I am falling asleep during stories at bedtime, so we are moving up my bedtime but good news life during the day is getting better! I would do a happy dance, but... yeah I don't do that. So yay, there is the slight (and I mean ever so slight, dont get your hopes up) that I may get some of my act together in the next few weeks and start participating in my life again.

Until then I am just going to say that this time around... way harder than last time. I am attributing it to a few things:

1. I am old, okay not sure that 27 makes a huge difference compared with 25, but I would prefer to blame it on that and not my wimpiness (since age isnt something I can control)

2. I have another person to take care of an worry about, last time I worked all day (granted long days) but I only had to worry about me (especially true since I was in another state the whole time). This time... not so much.

3. I didnt have to cook my own meals last time. I dont know why this matters but it does. Last time I usually ate breakfast at the hospital or the hotel, ate lunch at the hospital and either went to a restaurant or ordered room service for dinner. This time I have had to prepare all the meals which has made them... inedible in most cases. Hopefully that is ending soon. But really, pretty sure I am going to be off garlic for a bit, and meat... yeah cant think about raw meat (especially pork which we actually almost never eat) without my stomach flip flopping.

anyway if the symptoms are any indication (which I know they arent) of the temperament of this kid... whew ... I am in for some fun!