Fat Guy in a Little Coat

Lately I've been feeling like Chris Farley in Tommy Boy, you know when he sings "fat guy in a little coat". Please dont get the wrong idea, I do NOT enjoy Chris Farley movies, but when I was a freshman in college I dated a guy that thought Chris Farley was hilarious, and he made it his goal to expose me to some of the gems (or not). That should have been a hint to me that the relationship was doomed to fail, but I was 18 so I didnt see the writing on the wall. Anyway, back to fat guy in a little coat. If you havent seen the movie (which I hope is the case) Chris Farley, who isnt a slim guy, tries to squeeze into David Spade's coat (David Spade is also annoying and about the size of a 9 year old). You can guess what happens. Lately, I have been feeling that like with my clothes. 

When I was pregnant with Michael things started to get tight after a bit, in fact I am sure I had a fat guy in a little coat moment, and I probably blogged about it too. But this time around... things are getting tighter faster. I know they say the second time around you get bigger faster, I mean afterall a balloon blows up much easier the second time around, but I didnt really believe them. I looked back at the pictures of Michael and I am pretty sure that at almost 14 weeks I look the same way I did when I was oh maybe 19 or 20 weeks with Michael. In fairness, I did start out a bit bigger this time around, I mean really can you expect your tummy ever to go back the way it was when it has grown a human, well maybe you can, but I was much to lazy to put that pressure on myself. Why I ever complained about my pre kid tummy is beyond me. Pretty sure this time around my abdominal muscles are like "Whoo! We dont even have to pretend to be there anymore! Just relax!" So this time... well there wont be pictures for one thing. 

Trust me, it isnt just me that noticed this time around I am bigger (at least so far). I have already had a tummy rubbing moment, yes even before I told people I was pregnant. It was at church, and it was mortifying. I guess the same thing happened last time (though later), I had to go back to my other blog and check, but here it is , and here . When they asked if I was having a boy or a girl, I may or may not have said I wasnt pregnant... yeah not my finest moment, but really not the moment to confess. I have also gotten a lot of, "I just knew you were pregnant because you arent the type to let yourself go!" ok... trust me, regularly scheduled exercise is not part of my life, but I guess if you spend your days running after a 2 year old, and regularly lifting (5+ times an hour) a wiggly 35 pound kid you might consider that physical activity, I know I do, helps me eat that second cookie. So that has been delightful, now that people know I feel a bit more justified with the chubbiness, not sure why it matters since I knew the whole time, but whatever. 

This brings me to my last topic (has this even been coherent even to consider it having a topic? go with me on this one). This time I am buying maternity clothes. Last time I didnt. No that isnt true I bought 2 pairs of dress pants (that I never wore because while I was pregnant my legs werent twice their normal size and the small didnt fit), and 1 skirt (which was really $30 well spent considering I lived in black pencil skirts). This time around I am not messing with buying my normal clothes a size larger, part of the reason is I can dress like a total slob every day and my peanut butter covered son isnt going to judge me, and part of the reason is I will probably use the clothes again (unlike dress clothes which I had to buy last time), oh and I mentioned the part about being bigger. But here's the thing... I hate maternity clothes. I hate them. I hate that they are expensive and often... really ugly. I have visited target and old navy and I think that most of my problem is that I am too cheap so i am like "what, $14.99 for a shirt, heck no!". I am welcoming myself to reality, I have bought a few things, yes I even paid $14.99 for shirts, it really is shocking. And in fairness the shirts are really comfy and much less fat guy in a little coat than my normal clothes were. Havent needed jeans yet, and maybe I can hold off cause I do have tons in a size bigger, but I am taking recommendations, are there any maternity jeans that arent $50 that are still you know people jeans, not mom jeans (you know what I am talking about). Oh my heck (yes oh my heck) I am getting old. 

Whew... well Chris Farley was famous for being a fat guy in a little coat, maybe if I just smile and own it this will totally work for me. and if it doesnt it is just one of the many joys of motherhood, along the lines of midnight feedings that is totally worth it because your kids are awesome people.