Guilt but sleep

By Ashley -
So I feel awful, guilty, just sick. I gave Michael melatonin. I finally did it. About a year ago I asked the doctor about Michael's sleeping issues. To refresh everyone, Michael does not like to sleep. He never has, I thought it was normal, it's not. I had Zach and I saw the light. He's never been a big sleeper, but lately it has gotten worse. Well it got pretty bad about a year ago but improved (slightly) and has gotten worse again. He seems to be unable to settle down. He goes to bed late (I'm talking 10pm or later when he was put down at 7:15pm and he doesn't nap), and wakes up early (birds barely chirping early). His behavior has been... a disaster lately. He's defiant, he won't listen, he has tantrums, he can't focus, etc. I know most of those things are him being three but my desperation was starting to set in. Lately, Ive been hearing how a lack of sleep can be linked to attention disorders in children and Mr. Michael is a prime candidate for that (Ive actually been reading it in scientific journals but let's call it hearing).

Ok back to the pediatrician. About a year ago I described Michael's attitude towards sleep to her, described our bedtime procedure, had him talk to her, and she recommended we try a small dose of melatonin. I put it off, I didn't want to drug him. I thought it would get better, it didn't. So today I went and bought it. I gave it to him 1 hour before I wanted him to go to sleep, and bedtime went... so very smoothly. He was exhausted, he barely stayed awake during stories. He didn't get out of bed, play upstairs, scream, cry, and he's not awake now. I'm torn. I feel so guilty, but I'm just so happy he went to sleep. So I guess we're trying this.

I talked to him about it before I gave him the pill. I asked him how he thought bedtime went, how he feels about sleep, if he had a hard time sleeping. He responded with "Mommy it's just so hard to sleep". He seemed genuinely distressed. I asked him if he'd be willing to take some medicine to help him sleep for a few days and he seemed... relieved. Maybe it was just today, or maybe he really really struggles with this. We're hoping a few weeks will help him learn to go to sleep a little better, and crossing our finger, toes, and eyes that more sleep equals a more pleasant child... but oh the guilt. So Mikey when you read this 20 years from now, I am so very very sorry for giving you melatonin, but oh I hope it works!

Comments

  1. HollyFebruary 11, 2015 at 9:43 PM

    I say congratulations. Think of it as a substance produced naturally in the body, and that his body just doesn't make quite enough. No guilt necessary! I do know how hard it is to decide to give anything to your kids...even immunizations, right?? :)

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