Pulling In
It's been observed a few times that we aren't that friendly. I feel kinda of bad about this observation because that being unfriendly has never been our intention, but it seems to have worked out that way. I've been thinking about it a lot lately and it keeps bothering me, and then on Saturday night while out (ok in someone else's house) with friends, one of them summed it up so well- she said something to the effect of feeling like she is drowning with her kids and all she can do is tread water and hope her head doesn't go under (too long). It clicked, yes! That is exactly it! I have to say I really do love these ladies. Sometimes you need friends that have seen you lose your cool with your kids and still don't judge you. I mean I love the friends you dress up to see but sometimes you also need the friends you are ok seeing when everyone is having a terrible day, no one is wearing real pants, and you realize when you got there that you forgot to take a shower... never happens to you? Ok maybe I need those friends. We see these friends... a lot, this might be one of the reasons that the dress up people have kinda fallen of the radar the past 5 years...
I love my sweet kids, but life with them is just crazy. For someone who like routine, predictability, and control, life with kids makes me want to hyperventilate on an hourly basis. I'm a firm believer that kids do awesome with routine, my kids do at least, it might be because I'm so inflexible. When we start to drastically change the routine things go to crap. They are antsy, feisty, and out of control. They are not fun to take most places, they are great at parks, kid places, and even chick-fil-a, but other places, no. People say "I have kids I totally understand", all I can respond to that is... no. There's a difference between having kids and having small kids and multiple of them. As time passes you start to block things out like the volume (gosh I hope this is true), and just the insanity of life with littles... you have to. I also want to say, you might have kids and you might be so sweet and understanding about mine, but this activity where I pretend to be interested in the conversation while watching Zach almost break something, and Michael slap Zach across the face, and holding a squirmy and unhappy baby just isn't fun... if I stay home then my kids can be as loud as they want, I can strap them in to eat (thank you buckle on the booster), and if they end up screaming it's just us. It's terrible when when we get these invites sometimes my first thought is...no. I don't have an interest in feeding my kids twice, arguing with them, or putting clean clothes on them. This is terrible. So here's my letter to everyone... none of the people that need to read it will but I'll feel better.
Dear Everyone,
I apologize we've been MIA pretty much forever. There's the possibility that we will get it together and come out of our cave sometime within the next five years. Right now we are drowning, I know dramatic. I see those families with 5 or more kids and they are out in public and everyone is behaving and having fun... we aren't that family yet. We are still in the screaming, crying, and running into traffic (literally) phase of life. Every day is a long day, we love the ride but I can't quite lie and say we love every minute of the journey just quite yet. It isn't you, it's us. I have this fear that if we go to dinner at your house, attend the activity, etc one or more of my kids are going to have a screaming meltdown. We just aren't up for real life yet. Let's just that we consider a 5pm dinner at Phil's Ice House a night out on the town- we have to leave our zip code to get there, pants are required, and there's no drive thru... someday we will upgrade but right now we look at each other and assess the volume associated with a given event, think about how many times our kids will need to use the bathroom (this is a major deterrent I have to be honest), how the activity fits into bed and nap-time (the little two are really serous about these), and if we have to feed them at an event (this makes me lose the will to live) when deciding if we will be going. If it's too close to nap-time/bedtime, they will have to use the bathroom more than once, or we have to feed them... yeah we probably wont be there... it's just too painful and we are wimps.
I love my sweet kids, but life with them is just crazy. For someone who like routine, predictability, and control, life with kids makes me want to hyperventilate on an hourly basis. I'm a firm believer that kids do awesome with routine, my kids do at least, it might be because I'm so inflexible. When we start to drastically change the routine things go to crap. They are antsy, feisty, and out of control. They are not fun to take most places, they are great at parks, kid places, and even chick-fil-a, but other places, no. People say "I have kids I totally understand", all I can respond to that is... no. There's a difference between having kids and having small kids and multiple of them. As time passes you start to block things out like the volume (gosh I hope this is true), and just the insanity of life with littles... you have to. I also want to say, you might have kids and you might be so sweet and understanding about mine, but this activity where I pretend to be interested in the conversation while watching Zach almost break something, and Michael slap Zach across the face, and holding a squirmy and unhappy baby just isn't fun... if I stay home then my kids can be as loud as they want, I can strap them in to eat (thank you buckle on the booster), and if they end up screaming it's just us. It's terrible when when we get these invites sometimes my first thought is...no. I don't have an interest in feeding my kids twice, arguing with them, or putting clean clothes on them. This is terrible. So here's my letter to everyone... none of the people that need to read it will but I'll feel better.
Dear Everyone,
I apologize we've been MIA pretty much forever. There's the possibility that we will get it together and come out of our cave sometime within the next five years. Right now we are drowning, I know dramatic. I see those families with 5 or more kids and they are out in public and everyone is behaving and having fun... we aren't that family yet. We are still in the screaming, crying, and running into traffic (literally) phase of life. Every day is a long day, we love the ride but I can't quite lie and say we love every minute of the journey just quite yet. It isn't you, it's us. I have this fear that if we go to dinner at your house, attend the activity, etc one or more of my kids are going to have a screaming meltdown. We just aren't up for real life yet. Let's just that we consider a 5pm dinner at Phil's Ice House a night out on the town- we have to leave our zip code to get there, pants are required, and there's no drive thru... someday we will upgrade but right now we look at each other and assess the volume associated with a given event, think about how many times our kids will need to use the bathroom (this is a major deterrent I have to be honest), how the activity fits into bed and nap-time (the little two are really serous about these), and if we have to feed them at an event (this makes me lose the will to live) when deciding if we will be going. If it's too close to nap-time/bedtime, they will have to use the bathroom more than once, or we have to feed them... yeah we probably wont be there... it's just too painful and we are wimps.
I HEAR YOU. I didn't have a blog during my super hard times of lots of littles. It would have been so depressing. I think when Scott turned 8, I finally felt like he was a useful helper, and life started to lift again. Good luck.
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