Please Please Please SHHH!!!!!!!!!
I love all my kids dearly. They are each unique, talented, and special in their own ways. But they have a couple of things in common: 1. they are all very strong willed. I consider myself strong willed at times, yeah I've got nothing on them. and 2. they are all very very very loud, yes even Grace.
Church with the three of them is... well it's the worst. There's no learning, no mediation, there is a lot of prayer. Prayers that they will please please shut up! There's a lot of holding your hand over one of their small mouths, trying to bribe them with anything, lots of desperate whispering, and then just giving up. The giving up happens about 10 minutes before the meeting ends, by then my clothes are dirty, my makeup has rubbed off, I sweaty, angry, and disheveled, and I realize it's just a wasted effort. We recently moved sides of the chapel, it's still a wasted effort on the new side but now it seems like other parents are losing the battle as well. So much better when your kids lose their crap over a plastic dinosaur, half eaten fruit snack, or smashed granola bar. I do think it will get better. This last week Brian went home sick and took Grace and I had plans to go to Sunday School, it was sorta blissful for a few minutes. But then nursery needed a sub and I happily volunteered, and it was fun! Not having a nursery age kid is a bit freeing (or not now that she's super loud and in that transition period), but it reminds me that eventually church might not be so overwhelming and terrible. Let's just use the word, it's terrible.
Today we went to a parenting seminar at Zach's school. Zach goes to school Tuesday/Thursday, but today is Wednesday so he got to see his fun school and playground but not actually go in. I helped plan the seminar and had to go. There were only a handful of people there and we had hoped for 40 so then I really had to stay. The seminar was given by an older nurse who worked for the school district. I am sure she had some excellent ideas but I heard none of them. At first the associate pastor, who Zach LOVES, played with the kids in the corner. Zach was a little loud but she was very good at reminding him to be quiet. Grace decided the seminar was boring and decided to happy screech so loud in the echoey sanctuary. Then Zach wanted another donut (after a huge donut and multiple donut holes), and when I wouldn't give him one he was mad. Then the presenter thought the pastor was too loud with the kids and made them switch activities (from playing with a giant Noah's ark with every possible animal pair to... coloring, Zach was the oldest kid, no-one cares about coloring), then he lost it. I wouldn't let him use the phone with volume, Grace was loving the fit. We had to leave. It's hard to parent your stubborn three year old in the middle of a love and logic seminar, especially as he becomes the example, it wasnt humiliating at all. Yes, out of control child you have two choices be good or be good, oh wait that crap doesn't work when there's no actual logic involved and you just want to pitch a fit? Shocker. So we left, we went to Sprouts, and guess what... they were great. They were relatively quiet at the store, happy, and well behaved. It was almost funny, not actually funny, but almost.
I am hopeful that at some point (in the not to distant future) all three of them will learn to control their volume. Michael is pretty good about it, Zach has no interest in complying pretty much ever unless he thinks it's a good reason, and Grace is just too little. So I'm going to hope for two out of three.
Church with the three of them is... well it's the worst. There's no learning, no mediation, there is a lot of prayer. Prayers that they will please please shut up! There's a lot of holding your hand over one of their small mouths, trying to bribe them with anything, lots of desperate whispering, and then just giving up. The giving up happens about 10 minutes before the meeting ends, by then my clothes are dirty, my makeup has rubbed off, I sweaty, angry, and disheveled, and I realize it's just a wasted effort. We recently moved sides of the chapel, it's still a wasted effort on the new side but now it seems like other parents are losing the battle as well. So much better when your kids lose their crap over a plastic dinosaur, half eaten fruit snack, or smashed granola bar. I do think it will get better. This last week Brian went home sick and took Grace and I had plans to go to Sunday School, it was sorta blissful for a few minutes. But then nursery needed a sub and I happily volunteered, and it was fun! Not having a nursery age kid is a bit freeing (or not now that she's super loud and in that transition period), but it reminds me that eventually church might not be so overwhelming and terrible. Let's just use the word, it's terrible.
Today we went to a parenting seminar at Zach's school. Zach goes to school Tuesday/Thursday, but today is Wednesday so he got to see his fun school and playground but not actually go in. I helped plan the seminar and had to go. There were only a handful of people there and we had hoped for 40 so then I really had to stay. The seminar was given by an older nurse who worked for the school district. I am sure she had some excellent ideas but I heard none of them. At first the associate pastor, who Zach LOVES, played with the kids in the corner. Zach was a little loud but she was very good at reminding him to be quiet. Grace decided the seminar was boring and decided to happy screech so loud in the echoey sanctuary. Then Zach wanted another donut (after a huge donut and multiple donut holes), and when I wouldn't give him one he was mad. Then the presenter thought the pastor was too loud with the kids and made them switch activities (from playing with a giant Noah's ark with every possible animal pair to... coloring, Zach was the oldest kid, no-one cares about coloring), then he lost it. I wouldn't let him use the phone with volume, Grace was loving the fit. We had to leave. It's hard to parent your stubborn three year old in the middle of a love and logic seminar, especially as he becomes the example, it wasnt humiliating at all. Yes, out of control child you have two choices be good or be good, oh wait that crap doesn't work when there's no actual logic involved and you just want to pitch a fit? Shocker. So we left, we went to Sprouts, and guess what... they were great. They were relatively quiet at the store, happy, and well behaved. It was almost funny, not actually funny, but almost.
I am hopeful that at some point (in the not to distant future) all three of them will learn to control their volume. Michael is pretty good about it, Zach has no interest in complying pretty much ever unless he thinks it's a good reason, and Grace is just too little. So I'm going to hope for two out of three.
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