One Year in Austin

As out first year in Austin draws to a close I think I would be remiss if I didn't write a few things about the experience. And maybe too much has been written already, but oh well. 

I have to admit that when we first found out we were moving to Austin I was excited, the prospect of moving to a new place and meeting new people was somewhat exciting. We were comfortable in Dallas, we had friends and a routine and while I loved all of that there were times that it was stifling. So when we moved I was of course sad to leave everyone and the life we had built but I thought that the experience might be good for us. And it has been good, we no longer have the close friends, the expectations, or the routine, but losing that was harder than I had anticipated. Losing the ability to call a friend and just escape when it has been a rough day has been harder than I would have thought. Losing the expectations from friends that you will be at certain events, that you will pull your life together long enough to leave the house and have an adult conversation… well that’s gone and with it the loss of some of my sanity. The first 6 months in Austin were… well dark. I felt so ungrateful those first few months because I was just angry. Angry that we left, angry that it was harder than I thought it would be, angry that making friends was so hard, angry that I needed my GPS to get everywhere. But slowly things improved. I think some of the improvement is due to me getting a handle on my life. When we moved here Zach was really small, we moved before I had fully healed from his birth,  I was adjusting to life with two children, no friends, no help, and husband who worked (a lot) at his new job. Add to that a two year old that desperately missed his friends, his schedule, his activities, and his life and a husband who was adjusting to a new job which meant new coworkers and long hours. When we found out Zach was coming I had planned our life out around the schedule we knew in Dallas, around the assumptions that we would have friends, people to talk to, people to commiserate with, that Brian was settled in his job, and that Michael would have friends, but when things changed the combination of factors spelled disaster. Those first 6 months were a fog of frustration, anger, and just praying to get through the day. But slowly things improved. Zach grew, we developed a routine, I got a handle on the two kid thing (well not really), I didn't need the GPS to get to the store, Brian settled into his job, and we joined a Moms group so Michael could start to make friends. By the fall things had improved dramatically. I kept telling myself throughout this process that the first year in a new place is the worst. The first year is hard for everyone, and pretending it is going to be anything else just sets you up for unrealistic expectations. Sure it gets better and I would venture to say by the end of the first year things are usually pretty great, but the first year, especially the first 6 months are always tough. But we are past those “dark days” (can you tell I’ve been listening to the Hunger Games?). 

We moved again recently, this time just 5 miles from where we were living previously. This move was from a rental into our new home, and my attitude this time has been so different. I think it is mostly because while physically moving all our junk was tiring, frustrating, and oh did I mention not over (because we still have to unpack a ton) most things stayed the same. Brian’s job didn't change, we still go to the same stores, Michael is in the same preschool, we are part of the same MOMS group, I still go to the same YMCA to “run”. That has made a world of difference. This move wasn’t painful, at least not for me. I associated our rental house with the memories of just being “stuck” in Austin, the house was dark, compartmentalized, and just reminded me of those days, but our new house… well our new house is open, light, and opposite of that one. Maybe it’s that since it’s “ours” (in a very very very long time) it feels more permanent and like home than the last one. Sure this move required us to move wards (church congregations) and have new neighbors but I see that as good things, a chance to meet new people, make new friends, and continue to grow. 

Despite what the previous paragraphs might indicate, this year, while difficult has been good. I developed and independence I wouldn't have otherwise. We have spent more time as a family,  we developed new interests, I got a job. Would I tell the girl from 18 months ago not to do it- absolutely, but I would also say wait 6 months and then go, let the stitches heal and the dust settle from one life event and then jump into the next. So all in all our first year has been a success, we’ve learned, grown, and generally it’s been worth is. That being said if any of our friends wanted to move to austin we would in no way be opposed to that…I’m just saying…