PS

Often I hear stay at home moms criticized of being lazy, and I am going to just throw it out there, not too long ago (okay maybe a decade) I may or may not have said similar things. It could be argued that today I am being lazy, seeing as how it is 9:30 and I am writing this blog post while my son feeds bath toys play kitchen food at my feet, but let’s ignore that. Some people say stay at home moms are lazy, I have heard some say things like “why cant she take a shower”, “why cant she still look put together””, “ohh… some of her dinner are from a box, shouldn’t they be homemade, she has the time”. First off I would like to politely tell those people to shove it, okay that wasn’t polite, but I would like to say it in a niceish voice. And then I would kindly like to invite them to be me for a day. I will say that as far as stay at home parenting goes I probably have it pretty easy- I have 1 kid, and he is a good kid, he can entertain himself sometimes and he is so funny and engaged that staying home with him has been awesome (most days). But it is not without it’s challenges.  Some days I get to the end of the day and I do feel as if I had been lazy. In my former life I was busy, I worked long days, went to school long days, travelled for work, had friends, all while maintaining our house and cooking (mostly), and sometimes I think that my time management skills have gone down the toilet, but then… Then I remember that there is a little person to take care of now, and while many of the household chores are the same, the “extra” time has been filled with more laundry, meals, naps, books, kid activities, blocks, songs, etc. The house is a bit messier (that is the understatement of the day) than when it was just Brian and me,. There are more meals to make, more baths to take, exponentially more laundry to do- the days are just busier. And it’s true, in some ways life has slowed a bit,  things that used to go so fast don’t anymore, our errands are split up, laundry takes longer (can you tell that I HATE laundry), every activity has to have time built in for dawdling, singing, and stories. It’s true that now I participate in naptime (not every day but some days, and I think it makes me a more patient mom), and it’s true that I am not as crafty or gifted in the kitchen as the moms in the blogosphere but I would venture to say few of us are. But I think , I just think that maybe some of my staying at home at paid off (just a bit), I think that MIkey is ahead of where he world be if he spent his days in a daycare center, I think he has more confidence than he would have otherwise, I think he eats healthier, sleeps better, and relates to other people (maybe not kids) better. And I think I feel less guilty, I feel less guilty than I would if I were off helping hospitals improve their (insert issue here). I liked the job, I liked being productive, and being in the workforce. I liked to be paid, be taken seriously because of my credentials, and experience, and yes that doesn’t happen anymore, not just with my son but with other people when you mention “yeah I left consulting to stay at home with my son”- people look at you like you grew a second head, but this is better. I think the long term benefits of this will far outweigh what I would have done in this same time period professionally, and who’s to say that I wont go back someday and do something awesome.

PS for those of you wondering why the stay at home mom doesn’t always look put together or showered let me throw this out there- have you ever tried to shower while people are coming in ripping the curtain open and asking for things- probably the least pleasant thing you could think of. So your options are that or getting up at 5am to shower before that fun starts, some days it doesn’t happen, but the kids are fed and alive and really that matters more than how great you smell or if you got the mascara on.

PPS as far as the box dinners go, have you ever cooked while little people are demanding things, pulling things from the stove, crawling up your legs etc…sometimes a shortcut can save you more than time.