"Stop Trying to Squeeze Off Your Sister's Head!": The Sukers Do Church Part II

By Ashley -
I literally whisper yelled the sentence “STOP trying to squeeze off your sister’s head!” during church today. More specifically I whisper yelled this during the closing prayer, just an FYI things are pretty quiet during prayers. Today was another amazing church day, I thought that with time Zach's church behavior would improve… no, I thought wrong. Instead we’ve gone in the opposite direction. Actually the amazing day started before we even left for church, when Zach punched Michael in the eye. This happened immediately after Brian did their hair, like the gel hadn’t even had enough time to dry. Zach and Michael were rolling around on the rug wrestling- they were disheveled and wrinkled before we even got in the car- yay!


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Hair done, bow ties on, best time to fight

We got to church, put our stuff in the pew, apologized to the people around us in advance, and sat down. Zach and Michael immediately started fighting over Grace. And by fighting I mean punching each other, I don’t think they realized she is a person. So that’s happening, Grace is start ing to look worried because let’s be honest it was dangerous, her chances of getting punched were pretty high. We pulled the boys off each other and the meeting started. About 3 seconds into the meeting Zach started playing a great new game where he launched himself from parent to parent and tried to pull off his sister’s arms. The volume was increasing in our pew at an alarming rate, and we could not get Zach to settle down. Eventually he started yelling at the 18 month old in the pew in front of us, which was also amazing and absolutely not disruptive. Eventually he noticed that Grace had a snack and a cup of milk… more screaming from both of them while he stole her snack and drink despite being offered his own identical snack. Finally he decided to “sleep” on the floor, which was a relief at that point. Things settled down a little bit as the meeting wound down, but that was just his way of lulling me into a false sense of security. We get to the closing prayer and I was starting to breathe a bit easier when Zach throws himself at Grace and attempted to squeeze off her HEAD! He would not let go, and the prayer kept going (I’m sure it was actually a short prayer), I tried to pull him off, he would not let go. Brian tried to pull him off, no luck. By that point I was repeatedly whisper yelling “STOP trying to squeeze off your sister’s head!”. The prayer ended and he immediately released her head… seriously?
I would love to be the family behind us watching all this fun, because it has got to be hilarious to watch a 3 year old make two adults cry every week (ok we don’t cry but we get close).

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