So I have to say "mom guilt" is a real thing. Last night I went to dinner (planned the night before) and an unplanned movie with a friend. We met for dinner at 6:30pm, before that I had tried to straighten up our house (so it looked less like the toy boxes vomited all over), gone with Brian and the boys to dinner (so they could be fed and he didn't have a mess) and talked them through how Daddy was on his own for bedtime and be nice. I cam home between dinner and the movie (movie was unplanned and how lucky are we to have a theater 5 minutes from our house?) and made sure they were all alive. I didn't wander aimlessly through Target alone, though I did make a quick stop there. But wow the whole night i just felt... well guilty. Don't get me wrong, it was lovely to eat my food at the temperature it was meant to be served at without anyone touching, poking, pinching, or screaming at me. And going to a movie with just adults and not having to pay a babysitter really does make discount Tuesday worth it, but I just kept thinking that there were things I had to get done at home (the floor was sticky, all the laundry baskets are full, when was the last time I cleaned the refrigerator, and what about all those closets that I keep meaning to clean out before Grace), how this wasnt a free activity (ok it wasnt super expensive, but $18 on dinner for myself + a $5 movie, well it adds up), and how Brian never goes out with friends (he did go on a business trip last week and get to sleep ALONE in a hotel room though...). It was like the guilt was just piling on as the night went on. So i've come to an important conclusion... I probably need to leave more often... I think the last time I left them in the evening for a non church related activity was in february, maybe january, and before that I can't remember. In dallas I used to go more often but here, less so and maybe that's why the guilt. They all survived, and i was 5 minutes away (ok maybe 7) in the event of an emergency. plus let's be real, when is the next time this is going to happen before or after grace, yep that's what i thought. So Em, my little buddy, discount Tuesday, we are going at least once this summer.
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