Oh Sweet Mikey
The last few months I've been a little bit worried about Michael. I don't know that this is the best possible place to voice these concerns, but I would like to remember them just in case I have the same concerns about Zachary in a few years.
At the beginning of the school year we enrolled Michael in two "preschools". Michael is a social kid and I was starting work at BYU-I, "preschool" seemed perfect. But it wasnt exactly what I had expected. Both groups were in someone's home and involved kids from our local church congregations. I was excited for him to get to know kids from church and thought he would have a lot in common with them. The first group didn't work out exactly how I had hoped because the kids were much too young for him. The teacher was fantastic, and he had fun, but I had my doubts that he was going to enjoy hanging out with the barely 2 year olds for much longer, especially when his brother got bigger. I was worried that he would start to be disruptive (which as a valid concern), and he left after christmas. The second group worked much better. The kids were older, the activities were more engaging for his age level, but the kids... he never really clicked with the other kids. It was probably because of the the number of kids in the class or that they all knew it each other really really well (cousins, twins, best friends) and he was always left out. And this teacher has also done a phenomenal job. I assumed it was nothing and he has continued with that one, but I've been a little bit uneasy about his interactions with the kids in that group. In December I started shopping for a "real" preschool, and I found one. I was somewhat skeptical that it would work out given our previous experience but we tried it. Michael enrolled in preschool at the Methodist Church near our house and I waited to hear how it went. The first day I was bursting to know if he loved it. I tried not to pry, he's chatty so I knew he would bring it up. He ran out of the classroom the first day full of smiles, asking to go back again. And I noticed something else, the other kids said goodbye to him. I though this might just be the first day so I've watched every day since then, and if anything the goodbye has gotten even more enthusiastic as time has gone on. When I picked him up yesterday you would have thought that a celebrity was leaving, the cute little girls were falling all over each other to say "BYE MICHAEL!" He always smiles shyly and walks away.
But for a few months I was worried about him. I was worried that he wasnt able to make connections with other kids. I assumed his inability to find a friend at preschool was something we needed to fix on our end. He had friends in Dallas, but this was the first time that he was required to go out and make friends on his own. His Dallas friends, particularly his best friend were always around, he met them as a tiny guy and they grew together. And while I knew he is very young, finding a friend is important at any age. So I worried. It had been almost a year and he still had yet to make a good friend connection. And school wasnt getting better (before the new "real" preschool). More than once he came home in tears because so and so wouldn't play with him, kid x kicked him, yelled at him, slapped him etc. I thought he was a wonderful, fun, and engaging child but it seemed that that was just me. I watch him at the park desperate to make friends, it was heartbreaking. Every child he met even briefly was his "best friend", even if it was unlikely we would ever see the kid again. We talked a lot about how Zach was his best friend, that Zach would always be around and would love to play, and as Zach grew he accepted that more and more. And then he started the new school and things changed. Instead of seeing a lost and lonely kid I saw the old Michael. He was happier, more confident, and didn't try to hard to make friends. And then he made friends in our playgroup, and I started to see that maybe the problems with the kids at the preschool groups weren't necessarily just him. He now has two buddies that he really likes to hang out with. One is also new to the area, both are his age. He has a couple of other friends that we need to get to know better, but it is amazing to watch him with these friends, instead of being the outcast he is part of the group. Today two of his friends came over, while they were waiting for the 3rd to arrive they were chatting about being buddies. When the third arrived he hopped the gate and sprinted up the stairs and they went off and played monsters. The awkward "please be my friend" moment had passed, he has friends, and he fits in. And while I am disappointed with the way things have turned out at one of the preschool groups I am thrilled that he's ok and that he knows how to relate to other kids his age.
And here are just a few photos of my favorite Michael (sorry muggle).
St. Patrick's Day. It turns out he likes corned beef.
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